OMG EARTH!! (Old old story)

Ratchet was listening to the near silent patter of the rain among the window. He was on his own since he was an orphan. He luckily had gotten a job at the Axus Corp, testing and handling the weapons. Considering his young age of eleven he was well able to do anything well. He had his Omni-Wrench on his belt and he sat. Waiting and waiting. His Omni-Wrench had upgrades from Axus corp and was extremely powerful. It wasn't a weapon to be reckoned with. He was at least five miles from town and the townsfolk were nice there. Un-like other townsfolk. Only the silent glow of the Omni-Wrench's energy capsule light illuminated the darkness. He turned around and sighed at his two story house. His first floor was a plain kitchen with a small living room with a TV. His upstairs had a bed and next to it was his study. It was an adequate house and he couldn't complain. Twas' a good house. Yes it was. He turned on the light and cooked for himself. He ate and fell asleep on his bed with the soft glow of the fire light warming him.



Then, The Tax Collector barged in through the door, and pick pocketed Ratchet. He searched Ratchet's pockets, but unable to find money, he took the Omni-Wrench, laughed maniacally, like a stereo-typical villain, then use the Omni-Wrench to blast a hole through the closest wall of the house


Ratchet woke up with a jolt and crashed into the tax collector. He tried to use the Omni Wrench but when he tried to do so it didn't respond. Ratchet grabbed the wrench out of his hand and pinned him on the ground. He put the wrench on his neck and the Tax Collector laughed horribly. Ratchet realized he was crazy and was full of evil. He pulled out his Lacerator and teleported him to where he belonged. "Never thought I would have to use this thing." He sighed and went back to bed. Hoping that there wasn't going to be any trouble during the next day...

The Tax Collector woke up wondering where he was. "Ah, I'm where I belong. Next to the mayor. That's nice." he realized. "MAYOR MAYOR!!! THE BOY NAMED RATCHET DIDN'T PAY TAXES! GET THE ARTILLERY!" he shouted!

"What?" Ratchet woke up with a start. The Tax Collector probably blabbed about me. I gotta get out. He got onto his Hover Board and rode away. "Hey Bolt, Wake up." Bolt, Ratchet's Robot Pal, who was his "Backpack", said "What?" Ratchet told him that we were being chased down and they raced to a special spot they went every summer to relax. It was hidden well by ferns and had a large hot spring in the middle. They rested there and slept.

The Tax Collector's hound sniffed the clothing Ratchet had left behind. *Dramatic music*

Ratchet was in deep thought. "Wait a minute... Didn't I leave clothes behind?" Bolt said "We were on a hover board Ratchet. It would be nigh impossible for them to track us down" "True.." said Ratchet. "I wonder what we should do now said Ratchet. We should probably leave this galaxy behind. Bolt agreed and they got into their Space Ship and sped off towards galaxy Gydion.

Suddenly an unkown ship showed up on the radar.
There was a loud *CRASH*. The door was broken!
Space pirates!
They came in wearing there gas masks, and threw a small ball. The ball exploded, releasing sleeping gas.
The space priates took all of the power supplies, exept one they did not know existed: The ejection!
After the pirates left, the ship drifted with out any pilot awake, into an astroid belt
The ship hit one, and ejected both of them.

The Tax Collector cursed under his breath. "The trail ends here. At Cape Canaveral... Hmmm... I wonder..." The Tax Collector muttered, then continued, "is there any ice cream near by?" He picked his hound up and asked him to sniff the fuel Ratchet had left behind, attached a jet pack to the dog, and held onto the leash TIGHT and FROOOSHHHH!!!

The Ice cream man was worried. The person inside the capsule had not stirred...


"Hmmmm, No one can resist my Double churned extra chunky chocolate chip ice cream, I'll go get some"

"Ahh here it is"

The Ice cream man walked back into the docking bay. Suddenly a scanner started beeping.

"Oh??? Another escape pod? Well Might as well pick up this poor soul"

He opened the docking bay again and sucked in the object.

"How odd, a man... and a dog, but they've both passed out. I wonder what they were doing... Ah-h-h-h well, ... oh darn it, I need bowls" the man left the docking bay and headed for the kitchen...

The Tax Collector woke up to find himself... NEAR ICE CREAM! He gorged on the vanilla, sucked down the strawberry, and slurped the double churned extra chunky chocolate chip ice cream. Then his hound started barking. "What is it boy? Do you smell something?" The rockets went off again, melting all the ice cream, and the Tax Collector saw Ratchet, and threw his Omni-Wrench into deep space. Then he strapped the rockets to the Ice Cream Salesman, opened the hatch, and turned them on.

But then the rockets putted and died.


all the fuel was used up!

The Ice Cream man grabbed an ice cream scoop and hurled sludgy ice cream right at the Tax collector.

"Ooof" The Tax Collector said as he was hit, but he was fine. Then the omni-wrench and the blasted law of Universal Gravitation combined, and created a boomerang omni-wrench which disconnected the Ice Cream ship from Ratchet's pod, then blew the utensil side of the spoon off. As the air was sucked out of the cabin, The Tax Collector grabbed on to the Ice Cream man's shirt at gasped, "Avenge me...", then muttered, "space junk", and blacked out, with the last thing he saw as the growing image of Mars... or was he going towards it?

EARTH REMEMBER THIS? Aw god this was a good one.

Where'd you find this?

Well after we got around halfway into the story, I copy pasted everything into a site, and into my notepad. -Nod- I'm going to post the rest now.

The Ice Cream Salesman and The Tax Collector plummeted towards Mars. They hit the surface. The Ice Cream Salesman was alive. The Tax Collector was not.

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A monkey swung over Ratchet's head singing, "The space ship for you, is somewhere within that goo"

"Are... Are you kidding me?!" said Ratchet. Bolt said "I'll look for it." a couple hours later Bolt returned with the space ship. "Looks small." said Ratchet. "Not really..." and suddenly the space ship changed size "Technomite Technology. Nothing like it. Turns out this is a hive of Technomites, they kindly gave us this." "What? Why?" said Ratchet. "Well a friend gave it to me." said Bolt "Thought so, now lets get out of here. Oh and find that kind Ice Cream Man will ya?" "Accessing coordinates... Found him, he is on Planet Mars. One Galaxy away. The Milky Way." "The one with earth in it?" said Ratchet. "Yup." "Then lets jet!" and they went to Mars. [Yes most of this is copied from Ratchet and Clank.]

The Ice Cream man sat on Mars.


He was sad.... No one was around to but any ice cream, not that he had any....
Suddenly he saw something glint in the dirt!

He reached down... It was ice!
He collected all the ice he could find, then started to make Ice cream using an Ice Cream maker he had made out of rocks.

"Are we there yet?" said Ratchet. "No Ratchet. Just wait." "Ugh... I'm tired of waiting!"
"Ratchet look, its Mars!" "So tired!" "Ratchet... WE. ARE. HERE!" "Oh... oops."
The Radar starting beeping and we found the Ice Cream Man. "Hey! Ice Cream Man!"
The Ice Cream Man looked up, astonished. "How you doing!" said Ratchet. "Fine, I think. Would you like one of my ice creamz? So far there is no flavor since I only made it with ice." "Sure!" and he ate one of them. "These are surprisingly good for flavorless ice creams. Where is the Tax Collector anyway." The Ice Cream Man paused and he said "He died in the crash." Ratchet said "Good riddance. He tried to kill me from half way across the cosmos." The Ice cream man then said "Meh name is Kleo. Whats yours?" Ratchet replied "Ratchet, tis my name and this little guy is Bolt." Kleo said "Didn't see him on your escape pod." Bolt replied "I was hiding under some scrap metal." "Well, how did you find me?" "I put a tracking device on you." said Bolt, Kleo said "I see, well we better stay here for the night. Mars gets pretty cold during the night." Then Bolt clicked a button on the Technomite ship and it turned into a camp, complete with a cooking set, AC, Heater, and Sleeping chambers. Kleo said "Nice ship you got there. Technomite tech?" Bolt said "Yes it is. How did you know?" Kleo said "Well I had my way around Technomite technology. Pretty neat stuff." "I know what you mean." said Ratchet. "Well we better get some rest." and the trio fell asleep.

Ratchet yawned and said "Sure. Lets stop in on Gylle first, we need supplies and thats the closest place to get some." Kleo nodded and they set off to Gylle. "Ratchet, I need some oil for my joints and Kaladon sells the oil I need. Do you mind stopping there?" said Bolt. Ratchet nodded and after they stopped in Gylle, which was a easy go trip, they went to Kaladon (Not Caladan). While they were in the flight a blast of light appeared out of no where and sent them hurling to Tytan, A gas planet with wind speeds that can tear apart a normal ship. "Agh! We are lucky we are on a Technomite ship, but this is teeth rattling!" shouted Ratchet. "Ratchet we better hyper jump!" said Bolt. "Do it!" said Kleo. They hyper jumped to the nearest Star System, Hylia, and landed on the planet Urna, home to the Yinopians, one of the small aliens, but extremely smart. The planet was like a paradise. A Yinopian alien walked up to them and greeted them(Obviously in a alien language.) "Um, Bolt, can you translate? I cant understand a word they are saying." Bolt repeated the alien's words and said "I know Yinopian who lives here, I could ask them where he is." Ratchet said "Man, you have a lot of friends." He whistled and they followed the Yinopians. Wondering what they were leading them to.

The Yinopians led them through a dark canyon, and then turned right, over the cliff! How ever it turned out there was a thin track that led down to a city built into the side of a cliff...
The alien said something and Bolt translated:

"He says, this is our home Yintoa"


Bolt said "Whats this?... A shrink ray?" Ratchet looked over and used it on himself. "This is odd... HEY DON'T STEP ON ME!" Ratchet used the shrink ray again on himself and he turned bigger again. They followed the Yinopians into their city and the city was amazingly big for such small Yinopians. They made themselves smaller and entered the city...

The streets were paved with a reddish-brown stone. Each brick was carefully made. Some houses spiraled up then spiraled out, almost like hourglasses. Looped around in a circle with a garden in the middle. In the gardens were trees, but these trees had a golden liquid seeping from small metal pipes embedded in their trunks. Many of the houses had colorful banners outside, and the Yinopians waved to them as they passed. The markets seemed friendly, and many shop keepers called out greetings to their usual customers. As Ratchet, Bolt, and Kleo walked down the street they noticed younger Yinopians taking buckets off the trees. They took these inside where their parents mixed them with berries, leaves and other sorts of objects that the companions could not recognize. They arrived in a large courtyard. Directly in front of them stood a large castle. It was built right into the rock! On either side it was anchored by two large towers, adorned with colorful banners depicting scenes from Yinopian History. The gate was a mighty thing. The wood was solid, but when knocked upon produced a queer humming noise... Almost like singing. Then one of their guides said something in Yinopian. Bolt translated:

"He says it is their National day, and this year they are celebrating Neverfeross, a mighty warrior who united the Yinopians with his singing spear long-ago. He has invited us to the Royal banquet, and the official story telling."
This one earth, was by you, this is particularly my favorite post.

Kleo wandered into a hanger.

"Wow, these ships are strange...
Whoever heard of a fork space ship?"

He wandered around searching for a salesman
Soon he found a squinty old man in a booth.
"Oh hello, would you have any space ships for sale?"

"Yeah. We got S.S. Garbage Can over there" said the squinty old man. "If you want it, I'll de-raccoon it"

Kleo looked at the old man, "Any that actuly looks like a real spaceship?"
Man: Umm, hmmm....
Kleo: I'm just gona go...
Man: Ok

Jackel! Don't tell that man that! You know what would the chief say." Jackel grumbled. "Fine you sell him one!" then Jackel walked to his room. "Hey, my name is Hyrion. That man's name was Jackel." Kleo replied "Meh name is Kleo. Why was he grumpy anyway?" "Well, first off. Our planet has been raided a few times plus his wife left to another planet to explore and she never came back. So... yeah..." The other ships are over there. He hid them so nobody would inspect them. Kleo said "Thanks. I owe you one."
Suddenly, from high up, a black ship hovered, then more came. They started descending. Then, one moved forwards and demanded tribute from Jackel, "You haven't payed us for keeping the raiders off of your planet. It would be a shame if, there was an incursion."


Ratchet was looking up after eating his sandwich and he shouted "What the heck is that?!" He rushed over to the library and grabbed Bolt. "Bolt, look at that!" said Ratchet. "Odd, what would a black ship be here for?" said Bolt. "Only one way to find out." said Ratchet. They went to the black ship's location and found Kleo, backed up against a wall with the "so called protectors". "What are you doing!" said Ratchet. The leader looked up and said "Keep your nose out of this." Ratchet pointed his Omni-Wrench at the leader and said "Leave him alone." The leader laughed and said "What are you doing to do about it?" Ratchet shot a blue laser that just barely missed the leader's head. "By the way, I purposely missed that shot." The leader trembled and ran to his ship "I'll get you later.." They flew away in their black ship. Bolt jumped off their ship and said "I put another homing device." said Bolt. "Figures." and they sat waiting for Kleo

"Anyway, off to the banquet!" said Ratchet, and so they ran over to the town hall. Suddenly, huge red ships descended from the sky. There was no negotiator, no embassy, no mercy.

*Pew pew pew*

The town hall lost some supports, and it slowly started collapsing. The red ships encircled the hall.

Suddenly a huge black, glowing white, silhouette of a... Humanoid, appeared above everything, much like some sort of puppetmaster.
"Hey! Just who do you think you are?!" said Ratchet. The humanoid was cloaked with a robe, its eyes were yellow, his face was concealed beneath the cloak. He pointed his staff to Ratchet and motioned his flying minions to attack. Ratchet pointed his Omni-Wrench and blasted the little critters out of the sky. The humanoid rushed over to Ratchet and tried to land a blow on him. Ratchet flipped him twice and he ricocheted off the walls and landed with a dull thud. The humanoid took off his hood and said "You have passed your first test..." "Wait. What test?" said Ratchet. "You will know in time my dear friend.... and he dissapeared in a puff of smoke.


Then suddenly appeared in a sort of mini form in Ratchet's head, on top of his brain.
He pulled out two spark plugs.
"I need a jump start for my ship so I can go set up the next test. Hope you don't mind the 4 days of unconsciousness that will follow."
Ratchet fell to the ground unconscious.

4 Days Later.......

"What the hell... WHAT HAPPENED!!!" said Ratchet. Bolt said "You passed out." Ratchet screamed "I KNOW THAT!! BUT WHY?!" Bolt shrugged. Ratchet was in the infirmary recovering. "Wait... I heard this voice in my head... It said it wanted a jump start for his ship? He plugged spark plugs into my brain? I passed out?????"

I think it was meelo who kept adding the violent aliens right?

Yeah, you played the Alien.